Sexuality

Sensual BathOn a Tantric Date Night we will have built the love and sexual energy in our bodies to such a pitch before we get to sex, that we are truly ready for it. Whether you are trained in Tantra or not we suggest you do the same. As not everyone reading this will be trained in moving their sexual energy in the Tantric way, instead of giving a Tantric sexual energy exchange experience, I will suggest how you can move into passion. To a significant extent it is intention. Kissing is a powerful mood setter for sex and it can be used to create passion if you decide that instead of kissing affectionately, you will kiss with intense passion. I suggest that you each share with your partner your most favorite and intense way of being kissed by kissing your partner that way, and then being kissed by your partner in the way that is their favorite way. Once you have had that experience, just dance with it and add to it erotic touch. One of you be the giver and the other the receiver and bring your partners whole body alive with your touch. Kiss your partner’s body, stroke it, tantalize it. Look into your partner’s eyes and let them know with your eyes, your expression, your sounds, your movements, and your words, how you are feeling, what you are desiring. If things should become less intense, focus with greater intensity. If you want more intensity from your partner, invite them to receive all of you, to go with you into the deepest places that they can with you. Then move from there into oral sex or some other form of erotica that you love or want to experiment with, prior to moving into intercourse. If you have decided in advance and rehearsed some kama sutra positions that you want to play with, you can bring them into your intercourse to spice things up. You can enact a fantasy that you have co-created together or one of you wants to experience. You can bring in something else that feels edgy or exciting to you. Or you can forget all of that and know that everything that you have done to this point, is to lead to more presence and more passion. The more you can focus and stay out of your mind and into your heart and your senses, the more you can let your love and your sexual energy flow and merge as one together.

We wish you a magical Valentine’s evening. You can take it to whatever point you wish. You don’t have to take to intercourse to have a great night. As long as you create emotional intimacy, sensuality, and pleasure, you can have a great night. We intend to have it all – and so we will. Your intentions will be the chief determinant of your experience also. Namaste.

Sensuality

Lovers 2On a Tantric Date Night Sensuality always precedes sex. So on Valentine’s Day have plenty of time for the pleasure of goalless sensual play. The Tantrica believes that every cell of the body is a sex cell and every cell can be brought erotically alive. Two sex cells –the egg & the sperm – gave birth to the whole organism and so each cell inherits some of their potential. Thus, emphasis is placed on loving and arousing the whole body and this arousal of the whole body potentiates the capacity for full body orgasm. It is important that sensuality be stimulated in a wide variety of ways to avoid boredom and with it the loss of attention so crucial to sexual turn-on.

Here are just a few ways of moving into sensuality:

Having a sensual bath or shower together with mellow music, candlelight, incense. If you have a shower, one of you can blindfold the other and tease them with different textures and sensations and suggestive whispered words and erotic touches.

Dance: Here are some varieties of dance that you can do: a sexy strip tease for your partner; an erotic dance in which you get into your sensuality and play it all out for your partner; dance together, expressing your sexiness in your dance; dance to reveal your beautiful essence to your partner.

Massage: It can begin with therapeutic and move to sensual and erotic massage or begin as a sensual massage.
Tantalizing the senses: using scents, delicious taste treats and drinks, sounds, such as gongs, and textures such as furs and feathers to arouse your partner with, perhaps even as they are blindfolded and each experience is intensified by the element of surprise.

Kissing: Kissing is an art that can be learned and taken to ever increasing heights. Feel your love in your heart and bring that love up into your lips and tongue. Kiss as if the kiss were going to be the erotic highlight of the night. Kiss as if you were going to bring your partner to orgasm with the kiss alone. Tantalize and dance with your kiss.

We hope that enjoy playing with some of these sensual suggestions on your Valentine’s Night.

If you happen to be alone, you can dance with yourself and eye gaze with yourself as you give yourself tantalizing and erotic touch. You can add to your pleasure with scents, gourmet taste treats and elixars. You can have a wonderful time alone.

Sacred Heart Space

Lovers EmbracingThe Sacred Heart Space is a space of honoring, cherishing and reverence, where the God in you acknowledges, appreciates and bows down to the God in your lover and your lover does likewise with you. When we are in the Sacred Heart Space we come from the place of our high being self and focus on the inner beauty of our partner.

On a Tantric Date Night, entering into the Sacred Heart Space is often accomplished by a ritual. One time honored one, which we recommend for your Valentine’s Day, is the time honored one of gazing into each others eyes from a place of powerful, heart connected presence, with our right hand on on our partners heart and our left hand over their hand which is on our heart. Like a sexy kiss, this is something that can be done over and over again and never get old. The trick is to be really present and to access the place in you of the loving man or woman and let that love radiate to your partner as you receive the love coming from them.

Rituals such as this one are ways of transitioning out of ordinary every day consciousness into the kind of consciousness we have with each other when we first fall in love. We are in effect agreeing to let go of whatever separates us, to let go of any negative judgments or feelings that we have and to focus on what is right, good and beautiful in each of us It constitutes a movement into Shiva–Shakti consciousness and thus a movement into paradise. If we love each other enough to hang with each other through the trials and tribulations of life, why not luxuriate with each other in heaven?

Building Mental/Emotional Intimacy

IntimateLoveHaving relaxed and played, it’s time to build emotional intimacy. You can do this by sharing deeply and authentically who you are and what is truth for you in your moment of now. It helps if you can go inward and experience the sensations in your body and the feelings you are having, and even the thoughts that are arising in you as you do this. Here is an example, from my here and now experience in this moment: “ I am tuning into the tension in my jaw and it is making me want to grimace to get rid of it. Now I am doing it, and now again. That feels much better. I feel more relaxed and present now. I realize that my focus on keeping my commitments to myself and others has numbed me to the stress in my body until now. I’m needing to do some slow deep belly breaths to get me here all the way. Buddha is sitting outside of my front door, laughing at me. I’m smiling back and I feel good. All of me is smiling.”

On a Tantric Date Night, this type of deep sharing may come directly from relating about yourselves, as I just did. Or it can come from other means. Here are a few:
* Appreciations of your partner and even yourself. Appreciations can take 3 forms.
* You can appreciate a physical attribute of your partner
(“I love the temperature of your body. When I snuggle up against you, my body melts and love enters me.”)
* You can appreciate a service that your partner has done
(I appreciate the loving way you requested my help in finding what you were looking for today, instead of complaining that it was gone. I felt eager to help you find it”)
* You can appreciate an attribute of your partner.
(I appreciate how unconditional and sweet your love is. I always feel safe and nurtured because of it. But more than that is a great blessing to live in the energy field of love and my life is blessed through the experience of your love.)
It adds to the appreciation if you not only say what you appreciate but what the gift of that is to you.
* Asking intimate questions. My upcoming book on Intimate Conversations has 100’s of deepen topics of discussions for couples who want to get closer to each other. In the meantime here are two that might appeal to you if you can’t think of anything on the spur of the moment:
What is it that most juices in you life, love and sex?
What are two highlights of your relationship that are golden memories for you?

* Sharing the depth truth of your life in some domain of your existence, such as relationship, love, sex, work, creativity, health, spirituality, parenthood, mortality, community connection, etc.
* Reading love poetry or passages from books
* Reading and interpreting the significance for you of Tarot cards or runes
* Doing exercises from relationship or Tantric books that help you both go deeper with yourselves and each other.

Presence

Lovingcouple2Valentine’s Day celebrates romance and when we are in the belly of the romantic experience we are focused on the moment and that moment is illuminated by the presence of our partner. Real love, love that is truly felt, takes place in the here and now. When we are totally focused in the here and now we are in Tantra no-time. Real love takes place in the feeling heart. All that is right with our partner, is received into our feeling heart. We honor the God within them. In so doing we move into a higher love.

Tantrica’s often come into that place of powerful heart connected presence through facing each other, either standing or sitting, looking into each others eyes and taking each others presence and then, hands in prayer position, giving each other a bow, while keeping the eye contact. They may accompany this bow with the word Namaste – “The light in me recognizes and honors the light in you”. This little ritual helps create a womb of focused appreciative presence around the couple and casts outside of it anything that distracts the partners from their full focused experience of each other. It says “Now I let go of everything else and come into the moment fully with you.”

Another way this can be done, is to take turns, looking into each others eyes and casting out everything you don’t want and then, afterwards, bringing in everything you want. So I say, “I cast out stress.” My partner says, “I cast out boredom.” I say, “I cast out judgment.” My partner says, “I cast out distraction.” Etc, etc. I say: “I bring in appreciation. My partner says: “I bring in playfulness.” I say: “I bring in sensuality.” My partner says: “I bring in erotic languaging.” Etc. etc.

Relaxation

MatureLoversWe need to relax in order to sense into and enjoy each other. Thus, the purpose of beginning with relaxation is to make a transition from the busyness and hassle of your work-a-day life to that more relaxed, slowed down, “in the moment” presence in which love, creativity, and sex best thrive. This can be done in several ways – a Jacuzzi, a glass of wine, a walk in nature or the neighborhood, dancing, a relaxing or therapeutic massage, watching a funny or sensual dance YouTube movie, a melting hug, or just hanging out with each other schmoozing without addressing the problems of life or your relationship.

Self Love

RosesValentine’s Day is the day in which we commemorate love and the Beloved. Yet, our capacity to love the Beloved and to share our love with them is dependent on the extent in which we can love ourselves. Without this love, we cannot have a great love. Our love is too needy. We are unsure of our worth and so we are focused inward, judging ourselves and our partner’s reaction to us – quick to see insult and offense, because we so doubt ourselves. We are too contracted to emanate our joy, our power, our radiance and our love to our partner and so do not offer them our greatest gift – the gift of our big self, of our evolved, radiant presence. Learning to love ourselves is the pre-requisite.

Close your eyes for a moment and go inward. Take a few moments to answer this question: What is it about you that is most valuable? What qualities do you have that if everyone in this world had them this world would be a better place? What is it that if we knew you better than we know you that we would find most loveable in you? ………. Sum it up in a few short, succinct sentences.
share of that in you that makes you a blessing to existence and a blessing to your Beloved.

When you get together with your partner on Valentine’s Day make this sharing part of your experience with each other. Or, if you prefer, wait until then, and do it with them for the first time.

Tantric Suggestions for Making Valentines Day Special

HappyCoupleInLoveEvery where that Valentine’s Day is celebrated, people associate that day with lover’s coming together to commemorate their love. Lovers everywhere gather with each other to have a romantic evening, in which they acknowledge and appreciate each other, exchange gifts and make love. It is on this day that we do their utmost to set aside our differences and all the distractions in our lives, to focus our attention upon each other.

In celebration of Valentine’s Day, over the next 24 hours I will come up with some suggestions for what might you want to bring to your Valentine’s Day celebrations to make it as special as it is supposed to be. For Tantrica’s you will notice that on Valentine’s Day, what is needed to give us what we want we want, is the true Tantric experience – meeting and communing with the Beloved.

What I will be sharing, in any order, will include some, perhaps all, of the following

1. Self Love
2. Relaxation
3. Presence
4. Emotional intimacy
5. The Sacred Heart Space
6. Sensuality
7. Sexual Passion

Please post your comments or your questions with regard to any or all of them. Steven and I hope that they help make your Valentine’s Day experience the rich deep communion with your Beloved that you long for – even if your Beloved is yourself.

Namaste

Slide 1 – Welcome

Slide 2 – Tantalize with Tantric Touch

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