Building Mental/Emotional Intimacy

IntimateLoveHaving relaxed and played, it’s time to build emotional intimacy. You can do this by sharing deeply and authentically who you are and what is truth for you in your moment of now. It helps if you can go inward and experience the sensations in your body and the feelings you are having, and even the thoughts that are arising in you as you do this. Here is an example, from my here and now experience in this moment: “ I am tuning into the tension in my jaw and it is making me want to grimace to get rid of it. Now I am doing it, and now again. That feels much better. I feel more relaxed and present now. I realize that my focus on keeping my commitments to myself and others has numbed me to the stress in my body until now. I’m needing to do some slow deep belly breaths to get me here all the way. Buddha is sitting outside of my front door, laughing at me. I’m smiling back and I feel good. All of me is smiling.”

On a Tantric Date Night, this type of deep sharing may come directly from relating about yourselves, as I just did. Or it can come from other means. Here are a few:
* Appreciations of your partner and even yourself. Appreciations can take 3 forms.
* You can appreciate a physical attribute of your partner
(“I love the temperature of your body. When I snuggle up against you, my body melts and love enters me.”)
* You can appreciate a service that your partner has done
(I appreciate the loving way you requested my help in finding what you were looking for today, instead of complaining that it was gone. I felt eager to help you find it”)
* You can appreciate an attribute of your partner.
(I appreciate how unconditional and sweet your love is. I always feel safe and nurtured because of it. But more than that is a great blessing to live in the energy field of love and my life is blessed through the experience of your love.)
It adds to the appreciation if you not only say what you appreciate but what the gift of that is to you.
* Asking intimate questions. My upcoming book on Intimate Conversations has 100’s of deepen topics of discussions for couples who want to get closer to each other. In the meantime here are two that might appeal to you if you can’t think of anything on the spur of the moment:
What is it that most juices in you life, love and sex?
What are two highlights of your relationship that are golden memories for you?

* Sharing the depth truth of your life in some domain of your existence, such as relationship, love, sex, work, creativity, health, spirituality, parenthood, mortality, community connection, etc.
* Reading love poetry or passages from books
* Reading and interpreting the significance for you of Tarot cards or runes
* Doing exercises from relationship or Tantric books that help you both go deeper with yourselves and each other.

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